It's a journey

I have been doing a lot of reflecting over this past weekend's DNF at Headlands. When I made the decision on the course, I knew it was the correct choice. Regardless, I find myself, almost a week later, beating myself up for stopping. These thoughts have emerged within the past 24 hours, or so. Call it a post-race DNF depression. I think the realization I cannot train the way I would like for a 100 mile race, due to already living a very full life, is finally beginning to become apparent. And, I understand the logic in the conclusion and wouldn't change my circumstances. But, that still doesn't make it any less difficult to accept. I have a huge burning desire to, one day, compete in Hardrock. And, realizing my only chance to get my name in the lottery next year and begin accumulating tickets for an eventual Hardrock start isn't going to happen, because I'm not going to run the hundred at Teton, is a hard pill to swallow. Nevertheless, it is reality. Thankfully, I still get to go to Silverton next year and immerse myself in the race environment. I am writing this down and openly sharing it in hopes it will assist me in processing through my thoughts.